When We Fail

If you have any responsibilities at all, sooner or later, you'll fail. Sometimes, it might be sooner and more often than we'd like.

Sometimes, our failure is measured by an outcome - when we're unable to complete a project on time or when we're not fulfilling business objectives. At other times, failure might happen when we don't measure up to an ethical or behavioral standard. For instance, we might find ourselves becoming angry at a colleague during a meeting or perhaps we realized that we didn't give our best effort on a project.

My question is - what do you do when you fail...when you mess up...or even when you sin. My area of weakness? Impatience and anger... I can become impatient when others don't perform at the level I expect them to... and sometimes I get angry. A few weeks back, I found myself very impatient in relating to a colleague and actually getting angry because I judged him to be unresponsive to my requests. By God's grace, I was able to apologize and ask for his forgiveness. I was grateful for his willingness to forgive my impatience but I found myself discouraged and embarrassed that I had failed in this way. Sure, I know that failure is inevitable but somehow, knowing that doesn't make it much easier, does it?

More importantly, how should we respond to our failures?

I think it's helpful to bear in mind that we're not defined by our failures any more than by our successes. God is not impressed with our completed projects or business accomplishments. We cannot relate to him on any basis other than the work of Jesus Christ. We approach him as sinners, having received grace from Christ alone.

We can and should also humble ourselves when we sin. It may be hard to ask for forgiveness when we get angry but as sinners who have been forgiven much, it's the right thing to do. When we humble ourselves, the Bible assures us that God grants favor to us.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble". (1 Peter 5:5)

When we humble ourselves, God will redeem even our greatest failures... somehow, we might end up showing those we work with, that we're no better than they are... we can approach them as fellow sinners, in need of grace.

Humility also helps us to examine ourselves - we can honestly evaluate our performance. Perhaps we failed to do our best because we were lazy or maybe our failure is just a reflection of our limited gifts and abilities. In either case, we can trust God to help us - to direct us to a better way.

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What do you think of leaders when they fail? How do you cope with failure? How do you respond when you sin against those you work with?

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Quote of the Week

"...servant leadership is not an abstract ideal; it is completely practical and workable. Having a Christian worldview means being utterly convinced that biblical principles are not only true but also work better in the grit and grime of the real world."

Nancy Pearcey, Total Truth, p. 370

The Power of Words - A Story on James 3

This is a powerful video from Desiring God Ministries, highlighting the power of our words.

We can often take the words we speak so lightly, not being aware of how they affect others. James 3 speaks to this -

"For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."

James 3:7-12

I found this video very helpful in making that point. Share your reaction with us.

Quote of the Week

"The longer I live, the larger allowances I make for human infirmities.  I exact more from myself, and less from others."

John Wesley

The Life and Times of the Reverend John Wesley, M.A, Founder of the Methodist, p. 451

The Lost Art (or Science) of Persuasion

Years ago, I read a fascinating article on the work of Dr. Robert Cialdini.  Dr. Cialdini has spent his life conducting extensive research and study on the science of persuasion.  Are there actually scientifically proven principles that optimize our ability to persuade another person?   Cialdini believes so and he has codified six basic principles of persuasion -

1. Reciprocity - If you do something for me, I'm more likely to do something for you.

2. Scarcity -   What's more appealing - a slice of apple pie or the last slice of apple pie?

3. Consistency - Make a public commitment and you'll be compelled to live up to it.

4. Authority - If Dr. Robert Cialdini says so, it's got to be true, right?

5. Consensus - we're like lemmings...or sheep...we like to follow the crowd.

6. Likeability - if you like someone, you inclined to want to agree with them. 

I've found it incredibly insightful and I've carried the article around for years.  

 

I wonder if there's a connection to our cultural engagement as Christians.  When it comes to engaging the culture,  we're not into reasoning and persuasion anymore - at least not in the public square.   It's far easier to polarize around moral issues and feel like we're "standing up for Christ".    Perhaps it's more satisfying to draw battle lines than to engage our neighbor thoughtfully about his eternal destiny.   

As I've been reading through Acts, it struck me that Paul engaged the culture in a different way altogether. In Acts 17, while in Athens, he "reasoned in the synagogue...as well as in the marketplace day by day..."  In Acts 18, arriving in Ephesus, he "went into the synagogue and reasoned with the Jews".   In Acts 19, returning back to Ephesus, he "entered the synagogue and spoke boldly with them for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God".

I'm absolutely not suggesting that incorporating these principles will lead to conversions (that's a work of God alone), nor am I saying that it will lead to broad Christian influence in our communities.   But perhaps, there is some wisdom in Cialdini's work that could apply to how we might engage our world more effectively.  

What do you think?

 

Quote of the Week

"The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one; and by the love of what is good, to expel the love of what is evil."


Thomas Chalmers (1780-1847) ; The Expulsive Power of a New Affection (Discourse IX)